Mar 30, 2006

u know u’re a drunkard when… (04)

  • You have so much alcohol in your system that your cab driver has to be HazMat certified.
  • If a drunk jumped off a building, you’d bravely leap forward to break the fall of his bottle.
  • You install shag carpet because it’s easier to hang on to.
  • Embalming fluid would be an improvement.
  • Your last Breathalyzer reading was “No Fucking Way.”
  • Distilleries fight over the billboard nearest to your place of residence.
  • The state has installed a Breathalyzer interlock device on your shoes.
  • You drew up a living will that states very clearly that you do not want the booze tube removed under any circumstances.
  • Your friends often substitute “Good night” with “Hey, you can’t sleep here.”
  • When you donate blood they store it in oak barrels.
  • You openly commit crimes just to learn new pruno recipes.
  • Your name is a police code for Public Intoxication.
  • You’re fairly sure a letter to Dear Abby signed “Want To Leave the Bum, But Can’t” was written by your liver.
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Mar 26, 2006

u know u’re a drunkard when… (03)

  • Your favorite drinking game is Do A Shot Every Time You Do A Shot.
  • Your idea of a seven-course meal is a six-pack and a pizza.
  • TV beer ads have started addressing you by name.
  • Someone offers you palm wine and you think they’re out of glassware.
  • You brush your teeth with bourbon. It hasn’t helped cut down on cavities, but who cares?
  • When a begger asks, “Can you give me a $$$ for some beer?” you reply, “Okay, but I want to taste it first.”
  • You know heavy drinking makes you smarter because you can never remember doing anything stupid while blacked out.
  • You have a split personality—every time you meet someone with booze you want to split it with them.
  • You were so drunk at the office Xmas party that you kissed your own wife.
  • You’ve never been to Afghanistan or Pakistan, but you’re a frequent visitor to Imtoodrunktostan.
  • You become sexually aroused by the tapping of a jug.
  • You know you can use Jagermeister as cough syrup. And visa versa.
  • Your 86s are passed down to your grandchildren.
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Mar 24, 2006


This is a song that I can relate to. This song captures my emotions whenever I hear it. If only a certain someone could read this lyrics and know how I feel. Underneath all the smiles and laughter, the pain is all too much to take. I've been trying to laugh off her engagement. The more stories I hear, the more painful things become...Anyway, this song is by Hootie and the Blowfish. It's called "Goodbye" from their Cracked Rear View album.

Tomorrow used to be a day away
Now love is gone and you're into someone far away.
I never thought the day would come
When I would see his hand, not mine,
Holding onto yours because I could not find the time.

Now I can't deny
Nothing lasts forever
I don't want to leave
And I see the tear drops in your eyes
I don't want to live to see the day we say goodbye

Now there comes another part of life that I call alone
Sitting at a bar with chris
And I can't leave ''cause my house ain't no home, no.
I just wanna touch you girl
I wanna feel you close to me
Without your love I would give up now
And walk away so easily.

So maybe while you're young
We'll figure out together
That even with the pain, there's a remedy
And we'll be all right
I don't want to live to see the day we say goodbye.

When I first met you I couldn't love anyone
But you stole my dreams and you made me see
That I can walk under the sun
And I can still be me
And now I can't deny nothing lasts forever.

But I don't want to leave and see the teardrops in your eyes
So baby while we're young let's figure out together
That even with the pain there's a remedy
And we'll be all right.
I don't want to live to see the day we say goodbye,
We say goodbye, oh goodbye, goodbye.
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Mar 16, 2006

Shake that ass!

Interesting links from wikipedia. You can find just about anything on this marvelous online encyclopedia. Have fun surfing if you haven’t already.

Our very own naughty girl of Singapore. I wouldn’t say what she did was wrong. If you think it is, slap yourself in the face for being a conservative SOB! I might add that she looks mighty fine too…

My favourite girl at the moment! She’s sexy, has lovely juicy lips and the fantasies I have about her are totally wicked! Boy does she squirt!! Love is in the air!! Dang dang dang dannnnggggg!

Here’s a shit load to read of the best rock band in the world. Enuff said!! Ladies and Gentlemen…GUNS N FUCKIN ROSES!

Ya’ll all know I love tattoos. It’s an obsession I tell you!!

Alright…enough of this wikipedia bullshit. If you find something interesting, send the link via the comment tab. This week sees me returning as the host of the Little Ireland festival at Peranakan Place. It’s gonna be four days of madness with the free flow of stout. The best stout in the world I must say! Well…I’m a whore…They’re paying me to give them pops….

Hopefully one day, I’ll get my PHD with this research. Here it goes….After months of research, I’ve come to the conclusion that women that either pillion or ride a bike, have fantastic looking asses! In Bali, most women ride a bike. And they all have butts to die for!! Not forgetting, Malaysia, Thailand and Vietnam. The female friends that I know whom ride, have rear ends that I can only dream of spanking.

Maybe riding a bike tones the ass. Maybe it evens adds some chunk to the ass. Whatever it does, it’s doing the trick. We all know that bikes are a hazard to life. But if you’re gonna have an ass that’s gonna be worshipped, I say RISK your life!

On the topic of butts, which race do you reckon has yummy looking rears? My vote goes to the malay chicks. They’re a sexy bunch and they know how to strut their stuff. I’m gonna leave it as this before I get too much slack!

So folks, the next time you see a chick on a bike, be sure to check out her ass and I’m fuckin sure that you’ll see something worth seeing. I ain’t talking about some middle age woman on a bike. The one person I’ll love to see on the bike right now?? Lily Thai!!!

*Noel slurps and cums all over his keyboard*
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