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Crab and Crap

I’ve been thinking of black pepper crab all day. It’s one of those cravings I get that drives me up the wall. Every now and then, the image of pepper crabs would pop into my head and I’ll go SLURP! As retarded as it sounds, it’s the only god damn thing I can do.

The chilli crab is Singapore’s signature dish. Every other tourist place you go to, they’re bound to have a picture of this spectacular dish. I like some of my friends, prefer the good old pepper recipe. Most of the crabs we get in Singapore are imported from Vietnam and Sri Lanka. I’ve got a question! I’ve been told by a few people that Sri Lanka crabs feed on dead human bodies. Is this true? I’ve tried searching goggle for an answer but there isn’t any. Well, even if they do feed on corpses, they taste mighty good! SLURP!!

Any more talk about crabs and I’ll go mad! Let’s talk about crap instead. Victor Tang is my definition of crap. It’s shocking that he’s in the Top 10 of Live The Dream. I just don’t get Singaporeans. Live The Dream is a singing competition. Meaning, you’ll have to be able to sing WELL and be able to give a KICK ASS performance at every given chance. Now, Victor Tang can’t sing to save his life and he looks constipated every time he opens his mouth. How is it that Alan Sandosham and Monggur Tumbuck aren’t in and this clown goes through? Victor reminds me of that monkey from Singapore Idol, Joakim Gomez. I think the problem lies with Singaporeans (the home viewers). Singaporeans are voting for these idiots out of sympathy. Viewers are probably thinking… “Poor thing lah the fella. He can’t sing, can’t dance and looks like a total moron on stage. Never mind lah, I’ll just vote for him once”. Total freaking bullshit if you ask me…

Still on Live The Dream, John Molina joins Ken and Dick next week. I reckon it’ll be interesting to see my brudder on local television again. I'll bet my last dollar that he’ll do a better job than Douglas Oliverio. Douglas O looked like a fool on Singapore Idol. Every time he opened his mouth, Singapore went WHAT? He didn’t make sense and none of his comments were of help to the contestants. Must be the alcohol! Back to John...I reckon he’s a good addition to the show. If you’re reading this brudder, get well soon aite!

I’m gonna sign off. We’re playing scrabble in a bit. My love and prayers to everyone in Indonesia. Stay safe and keep the faith. Adios folks!


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