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u know u’re a drunkard when…(05)

  • You have a sweet tooth for alcohol—in fact, your whole mouth likes it.
  • You spill so much booze at home your dog slurs his barks.
  • Your credit history is composed entirely of bar tabs.
  • When you get a cold you get a bottle of whiskey, do shots, and it’s gone — not the cold, the whiskey.
  • You’re always shaking hands, even when there’s no one else around.
  • Whenever you bend your elbow your mouth snaps open.
  • You get held up almost every time you have to go home — in fact it’s the only way you can get home.
  • You’d be happy to go to church if you could find one with a bar.
  • Your favorite bar is four bus stops away — six bus stops coming back.
  • The Red Cross uses your blood to sterilize their instruments.
  • You’re half scotch, and your ancestors aren’t from Scotland.
  • You know how to handle your liquor — with both hands.
  • You hate the very sight of liquor, which is why you hide it in your stomach.
  • You can tell what bar you’re in by the bottoms of their tables.

1 comment:

  1. keep drinking n even if u trying to say u quit it or in the verge there is always something to start with...
    well, well, u should start a topic for alcoholic..that suits among us..damnz!!!!


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