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u know u’re a drunkard when…(07)

  • You can order a beer in 17 different languages but don’t know how to pronounce “Perrier.”
  • When a cop asks, “Have we been drinking?” you reply, “Do you really think I’d drink with the likes of you?”
  • You freak out when you wake up in your own bed.
  • You’d have passed the sobriety test if you hadn’t mistaken the Breathalyzer for a bugle.
  • Your waking thought is, “Wow, look at all the gum stuck to the bottom of the table.”
  • You got in trouble at work because your standard greeting is, “Hey, let’s do a shot!”
  • You cursed the St. Bernard who rescued you because he had the nerve to bring only one lousy liter of brandy.
  • You can hear someone whisper “free beer” from three blocks away.
  • You consider a bottle of cheap whiskey and two shot glasses a very romantic gift.
  • You hate it when men give you flowers because, hey—you can’t drink flowers.
  • You dream of the beautiful day when all races, religions, creeds and colors finally get it together and pitch in to buy you a case of decent scotch.
  • You show up to brewery tours wearing fins and a snorkel.
  • You tell your friends your dog’s name is “Time For A Beer Run” but you call him “Hurry Up.”
  • The tooth fairy left you shots of Vodka.
  • You’ve convinced yourself your liver isn’t distended—it’s pregnant. With a new liver.


  1. Tee-hee :p

    Thank goodness I've never been drunk and made a fool out of myself! The most was freaking high to the sky!

  2. wassup joycie! i've been drunk too many a times! and yes, i'm always making a fool of myself when i'm drunk. like the other day, i fell off the chair at the prata shop.
    good thing that i was drunk and I don't remember much!


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