u know u’re a drunkard when…(02)

• If a party runs out of booze, you sock the host and drink his nosebleed.
• Your wife asks you to pick up a canned ham, and you show up with a case of Tiger in cans.
• Interventions have become so frequent that you just leave the folding chairs set up in your living room.
• The arresting officer tells you that you have the right to remain silent and you waive that right so you can finish singing Enter Sandman.
• You know how to say “Where are my pants?” in seven languages.
• You have a lot of respect for that 80-year-old guy at the end of the bar, but you know from experience that he’s a dirty fighter.
• You go on week-long benders just so you’ll have a cool story to tell at your AA meetings.
• You got in a fist fight with a wanker over how long a bottle of Jim Beam should be allowed to “breathe”.
• You’re willing to go on the trishaw, so long as it’s heading for a bar.
• You got pissed off when you forgot whatever you were drinking to forget.