Sep 9, 2007

The Courtroom

Hey all...I hope your Sunday is going well. If you're feeling holy today, all the better. I came across this website yesterday that got me laughing really hard. I'm gonna share some of their stuff with you and at the end of the post, you'll find the link to this site. Give them a visit if you wanna read more...


The following quotations are taken from official court records across the nation....

Lawyer: "Now, Mrs. Johnson, how was your first marriage terminated?"
Witness: "By death."
Lawyer: "And by whose death was it terminated?"



Lawyer: "What gear were you in at the moment of the impact?"
Witness: "Gucci sweats and Reeboks."



Lawyer: "Can you describe what the person who attacked you looked like?"
Witness: "No. He was wearing a mask."
Lawyer: "What was he wearing under the mask?"
Witness: "Er...his face."



Lawyer: "How old is your son, the one living with you?"
Witness: "Thirty-eight or thirty-five, I can't remember which."
Lawyer: "How long has he lived with you?"
Witness: "Forty-five years."



Lawyer: "Trooper, when you stopped the defendant, were your red and blue lights flashing?"
Witness: "Yes."
Lawyer: "Did the defendant say anything when she got out of her car?"
Witness: "Yes, sir."
Lawyer: "What did she say?"
Witness: "'What disco am I at?'"



Lawyer: "You were there until the time you left, is that true?"



Lawyer: "Were you alone or by yourself?"



Witness: "He was about medium height and had a beard."
Lawyer: "Was this a male or a female?"



Witness: "He was about medium height and had a beard."
Lawyer: "Was this a male or a female?"



Lawyer: "You say that the stairs went down to the basement?"
Witness: "Yes."
Lawyer: "And these stairs, did they go up also?"



Lawyer: "Now, doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in his sleep, in most cases he just passes quietly away and doesn't know anything about it until the next morning?"



Lawyer: "Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?"
Witness: "No."
Lawyer: "Did you check for blood pressure?"
Witness: "No."
Lawyer: "Did you check for breathing?"
Witness: "No."
Lawyer: "So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?"
Witness: "No."
Lawyer: "How can you be so sure, Doctor?"
Witness: "Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar."
Lawyer: "But could the patient have still been alive nevertheless?"
Witness: "Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law somewhere."



So much for lawyers being smart! I'm gonna save Wild Child from law school!! Click here if you wanna read more of this nonsense. I'm outta here...

6 comments:

  1. heh! glad you enjoyed the post! where's Wild Child??

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  2. i'm stuck in ocean law seminar...like i said lawyers are one deluded bunch of ppl...my tattoo is killing me right nw...show u the pic soon

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  3. awww...your first ever comment on my blog. i'm gonna frame this on my pretty wall!
    hang in there and the seminar will be over before you know it. and yeah, i can't wait to see the picture!!

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  4. hell yes you should frame it. she doesn't even comment on mine.

    ReplyDelete

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