Feb 21, 2007

Behind The Scenes

This post is a tribute to the fine men and women that go through shit every damn day of their lives! These individuals range from law enforcers to sound engineers to the working girls that loiter around Orchard Towers. The Tattooed Blogger salutes you!!

How often have you said to yourself “this fucker has an easy job”? All he or she does is sit around and do fuck-all and get paid at the end of the month. All of us must have said this at least once in our lives. If you haven’t, you’re either the Pope or Mother Theresa. I for one think that the Pope has an easy job. If the German Shepherd joke just popped into your head, you’re a bad bad person!!

The Law Enforcer a.k.a The Men in Blue
These bunch of guys have my respect. With the exception of the cops stationed at Government Hospitals. The last one I met was a dumb son of a bitch that didn’t know his work. Lets get down to what I think about the police in Singapore…We Singaporeans are a fussy bunch. Always complaining about how long they take to respond to an emergency call.

Each division averages 20 calls an hour. Most of which aren’t emergencies and if you do the math, they’re expected to be at two places at the same time. Have you seen our cops having a donut break? Or having their meal in some cheap Charlie diner? Neither have I.

We have a disciplined bunch of men and women whom are patrolling our streets. I almost became a cop like my dad. But, my inner demons showed its ugly side no sooner than later. Anyhow, we’re got one of the safest cities in the world thanks to our police force. Our CID and CNB lads have done well over the last couple of years.

The Working Girls a.k.a Prostitutes
You think its easy being a hooker? Nobody wakes up and decides that they love sex and should make an occupation outta it. Oh wait…I’ve got a friend that used to blow young boys for the extra dough. Only reason I can think of is that she’s ugly and that was the only way she was gonna get some lean dick.

And there’s Annabel Chong (real name: Grace Quek), the self proclaimed sex addict. First things first, she had horrible teeth to begin with. How could any guy trust her to give a decent blowjob?! But, I give Annabel props for putting Singapore on the map! Whoever thought it’ll be as easy as spreading your legs! Just so ya’ll know, Annabel’s gangbang didn’t have 300 men. In actual fact, it was fewer than 70 men. But she did engage in 251 sex acts over a 10 hour period with these men. See! Ya’ll do learn something new when you visit my blog.

Back to the working girls…Hookers across the globe have to endure assholes from every walk of life. Some try to cheat these poor girls and there are bastards that assault these women. All these women hear every night is HOW MUCH??

The Debt Collector a.k.a Legal Loanshark
A buddy of mine is a Debt Collector. Each drinking session with this bastard brings out the most hilarious of stories. He’s been chased by countless dogs, has had way too much saliva spat on his face, chased up 12 floors by an angry family of 8 to only run down another 12 floors to escape the beating of his life and he’s had a crazy chinaman dress up as his wife just to say he wasn’t living in Singapore anymore. Debt Collectors are by far one of the most hated professions in Singapore. Their status ain’t gonna improve once the IR starts in Singapore.

The Sound Engineer a.k.a The Musical Maestro
I’ve worked with some of the best audio engineers over the last 6 years. Some are a bitch to work with. I remember hunting one down with a baseball bat in hand. What happened to him or the event is for another story. Which wont be told unless I’m freaking sure I’m never ever gonna work in the entertainment industry again.

Most sound engineers are pure perfectionists. They know their sound better than they know their wives. Sure most of them have attitudes that stink. They miss company parties *wink* and much more. But at the end of the day, it’s these people that are always forgotten at the end of a concert. Nobody goes... “Fuck balls!! If it wasn’t for that sound engineer, Hoobastank would have stunk real bad!!”. So yeah, kudos to the Musical Maestros!! (ps: I don’t think any talented engineer could ever make Hoobastank sound good.)


I was gonna add a couple more jobs to this post. But like always, a post has gotta end. Hope ya’ll enjoyed the Drive Thru post earlier this month. I’m just waiting for some moron to tell me that they’ve tried a line or two. If someone doesn’t do it soon, I’ll have to drink lots and head to a drive thru with my brudder Shashi. 14th November brings back sweet memories! I’m outta here…Take care and I LOVE MY DAD!

1 comment:

  1. quick question: what occupation does the above pic depict?

    a bunch of naked men. one wth a camera. one being soaped. and the other soaping.

    i'm disturbed.

    ReplyDelete

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