Oct 19, 2006

What women really mean...

Man has long tried to understand women. Unfortunately, we men think with our dicks on most occasions. How many times have you gone “what the fuck did I do now??” So…read on and you might just be able to understand your woman a little better….

Here’s what women really mean…
  • You want = You want
  • We need = I want
  • It's your decision = The correct decision should be obvious by now
  • Do what you want = You'll pay for this later
  • We need to talk = I need to complain
  • Sure... go ahead = I don't want you to.
  • I'm hungry = (a) Make me something to eat (b) Stop what you are doing, scrape together your last $5, and go drive across town and get me something to eat.
  • I'm not upset = Of course I'm upset, you moron.
  • You're ... so manly = You need a shave and you sweat a lot. You smelly bastard!
  • You're certainly attentive tonight. = Is sex all you ever think about?
  • I'm not emotional! And I'm not overreacting! = I'm having my period.
  • Be romantic, turn out the lights. = I have flabby thighs.
  • This kitchen is so inconvenient = I want a new house.
  • The car is empty = Go fill it up
  • The trash is full = Take it out
  • The dog is barking = Go outside in your underwear and see what is wrong
  • I want new curtains = and carpeting, and furniture, and wallpaper.....
  • I need wedding shoes = The other 40 pairs are the wrong shade of white
  • Hang the picture there = NO, I mean hang it there!
  • I heard a noise = I noticed you were almost asleep.
  • Do you love me? = I'm going to ask for something expensive.
  • How much do you love me? = I did something today you're really not going to like.
  • I'll be ready in a minute = Kick off your shoes and find a good game on T.V.
  • Is my butt fat? = Tell me I'm beautiful.
  • You have to learn to communicate. = Just agree with me.
  • Are you listening to me!? = Too late, you're dead.
  • Please walk me home = Let's go make out.
  • It's all right, dear. = You'll pay for this.
  • Yes = No
  • No = No
  • Maybe = No
  • I'm sorry. = You'll be sorry.
  • Do you like this recipe? = It's easy to fix, so you'd better get use to it.
  • Was that the baby? = Why don't you get out of bed and walk him until he goes to sleep.
  • I'm not yelling! = Yes I am yelling because I think this is important.
  • All we're going to buy is a soap dish = It goes without saying that we're stopping at the cosmetics department, the shoe department, I need to look at a few new pocket books, and OMIGOSH there's a lingerie sale, and wouldn't these pink sheets look great in the bedroom and did you bring your credit card??

In response to "What's Wrong?":
  • The same old thing. = Nothing.
  • Nothing. = Everything.
  • Everything. = My PMS is acting up.
  • Nothing, really. = It's just that you're such an _______.
  • I don't want to talk about it. = Go away, I'm still building up steam.
  • What makes you think there is something wrong? = I'm going to kill you.

6 comments:

  1. Ha Ha Ha...I love this...so u men better get it all right after u read this...
    muaacckss!!!...women will love you if u just understand us a lil'bit better!..wakakaka

    ReplyDelete
  2. Thanks Ruby! Nice to know someone likes this post. It's true after all huh?

    ReplyDelete
  3. m just being sarcastic btw..not all are true...
    **giggles**

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  4. omg.

    i'm having a headache reading "what women really want / mean". seriously! i think i want to be a man now.

    eat. fuck. sleep. fuck. drink. fuck. shit. fuck. eat. fuck. talk. fuck. drink. fuck. sleep. fuck..

    i want THAT kinda man.

    is it me or does it seem like the 'new age' man just cant seem to keep up?!!

    *sheepish grins*

    ReplyDelete
  5. Woah...

    Interesting highlights... But isn't it better if we girls say it straight to the point? Without having any hidden msgs?

    No wonder I've only had two exes before my man now, hehehe...
    I'm too direct for my own good, hehehe...

    Thanks for today's lessons, yah... ;-)

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  6. hahaha..

    nana,

    "No wonder I've only had two exes before my man now, hehehe...
    I'm too direct for my own good, hehehe..."

    read: horny

    was that wat u meant? *winks* hahaha!!

    ReplyDelete

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